31 July 2023, Mumbai: Somy Ali, the actor turned humanitarian, runs her NGO called No More Tears, which aims to support and empower survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking. In a candid discussion, she challenges the common belief that marriages are made in heaven, especially when it comes to older women marrying younger men. Somy shares her own experience and observations, shedding light on the misconceptions surrounding age gap relationships.
Age Difference and the Flawed Theory
Somy Ali recalls her own dating experience where she was 17 and her partner was 27. Contrary to the common belief that women are more emotionally mature, she admits to being at the height of immaturity during that time. Scientifically, the human brain is not fully developed until the age of 25, making the theory incorrect. She also acknowledges that such a relationship would be considered illegal in many countries, including India, due to her minor status at the time.
Evolving Through Hardships and Experiences
Somy believes that personal growth and maturity come from facing hardships and experiences, whether positive or negative. While it may seem that women are emotionally stronger than men, it is more about how women tend to handle difficult situations with calmer demeanors compared to men. She reflects on the gendered expectations and double standards imposed by society on boys, perpetuating the idea that they shouldn’t show vulnerability by crying. This pressure reinforces the need for a shift in mindset towards gender equality.
Age Difference and Personal Choice
As a diehard liberal and feminist, Somy emphasizes that as long as a relationship is consensual and legal, age should not be a deciding factor. She believes that judgments should not be made based on whether it is a man marrying a younger woman or a woman marrying a younger man. Instead, she advocates for respecting individual choices and compatibility. Somy questions the societal tendency to blame women more often than men for age gap relationships, calling for the erasure of ageism and sexism from people’s mindsets.
Rethinking Society’s Perception
From a statistical perspective, more men tend to remarry younger women than vice versa. Somy urges society to change its approach and allow women the same freedom to choose partners, regardless of age, if love and compatibility are present. She acknowledges that ageism and sexism persist in society, leading to different standards for men and women in relationships. Somy concludes by encouraging amicable separations when relationships no longer work, rather than perpetuating misery and dishonesty that affects the well-being of children and the household environment.