30th March,2024, Mumbai: Such subjects are taboo in today’s culture, according to actress Somy Ali, who founded the US-based nonprofit organisation No More Tears to assist in the rehabilitation of victims of rape and domestic abuse. She continues by saying that victims must stop being held responsible for these kinds of social ills.
Domestic abuse is still privileged in our society, says Somi Ali
Sadly, victim blaming—whether it be for domestic abuse or human trafficking—has a stigma. It still astounds me that some people blame a person’s sexual orientation or the victims even in 2024. As a society, we fear discussing domestic abuse as though it’s some kind of sickness that we will contract if we simply mention its existence aloud. Furthermore, people tend to support the abusers and believe the victims are insane or mentally ill. I can speak from personal experience when I state that this is the whole truth. The way an abusive narcissist can get away with so much because of their charm and natural ability to deceive those who already adore them for their status and authority sickens her.
Somy Ali discusses the risk associated with defending victims of rape and domestic abuse
She states, “There comes the risk of getting attacked by the abusers and traffickers, which has been my misfortune too, and them trying to file a lawsuit to shut us up from rescuing their victims,” when discussing the risks associated with defending victims of rape and domestic abuse. The major challenge therefore becomes obtaining cash, as I have found that people are significantly more willing to give money to charities that support damaged animals than to those who support abused people. I’m not criticising donations for mistreated animals in any way; I’m only sharing my observations from years of managing NMT, a charity that also rescues animals from homes where domestic violence occurs.
Somy Ali talks about her emotional growth
She claims that this experience has transformed her as she finishes her 17 years with her NGO. “My NGO has helped me emotionally grow to an incredible degree. My life has completely changed on all fronts because of what I have witnessed about how much is wrong with our society and its citizens, and because there are so many people who want to make the necessary corrections in my case. My priorities have shifted from worrying about not getting married, finding a partner, or becoming a mother to supporting children who lack access to basic necessities like diapers. Even as a young child, I was a recluse and a loner who only had one or two acquaintances. After working with abused people for such a long time, my preference for quality over quantity has become even more solidified. When you or someone close to you has been through that exact situation, it makes it easier to assist someone else.
At that point, empathy takes over and the victim realises that I am able to relate to them since I have been in their shoes. Even when I was younger, I was never an extrovert and always liked to remain home rather than attend to parties; this preference hasn’t changed, but I do have a far deeper understanding of the human mind now that I work with victims. I’ve discovered that life is a gift for which we should be thankful every day and not take it for granted. Above all, I’ve discovered that nobody ever experiences eternal joy and contentment and that everyone will occasionally stumble. The people who consistently get back up are the ones who actually matter.
By-Sapna Meena